I got a rather funny e-mail today about a few saying on the old game show. Dunno if this is real or not but almsot all of them made me crack up. (Hope it isn't too bad to post some of these)

Those of us old enough to remember the Old "Hollywood Squares" game
(before Whoopi) will appreciate these. They're from the days when game
show responses were spontaneous and not scripted like they are now
These are from the show in the 70's.

Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least
how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q: True or false ..... a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a
man or a woman?
A: Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and
you think he's really attractive,is it okay to come out
directly and ask him if he's married?
A: Rose Marie: No,wait until morning.

Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say
I love you?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with
your hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing-older question and
I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!

Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you
going to get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing
strawberries!

Q: In bowling,what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at
nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q: When you pat a dog on its head, he will usually wag his tail.
what will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.

Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give
birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of
the dark.

Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with
getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!

Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body what
is it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't
neglected!

Q: Charley, what do you call a pig that weighs more th
150 pounds?
A: Charley Weaver: A divorcee.

Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish
on his head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or
your elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it's sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.

Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in
them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions.
What are they?
A: CharleyWeaver: His feet.

Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water >
long enough.

Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you
detect light?
A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.

Q: To what do Roy Rogers and Dale Evans attribute their long
marriage.
A: Paul Lynde: They're both good in the saddle.

__________________
Mr. Bob's Web Design - Tirelessly looking for ways to enhance the customer base of your business.

These are GREAT!!! Although even back in the 70's the answers were scripted. I believe the celeb could either use the scripted answer or not -- but the answer was there to use if he couldn't come up with anything.

Even Groucho on "You Bet Your Life" relied on a teleprompter. Many (most) of his responses were scripted too.

__________________

The 3 Laws of the Procrastination Society:
1) Never do today that which can be put off until tomorrow
2) Tomorrow never comes

70's ha? I'm not even born yet.. Maybe thats why I don't get whats so funny about that!

__________________
When you say "I wrote a program that crashed Windows," people just stare at you blankly and say "Hey, I got those with the system, for free." Linus Torvalds

Neither was I, but I laughed at almost every one of them.

__________________
Mr. Bob's Web Design - Tirelessly looking for ways to enhance the customer base of your business.

I was born in 81 and I have to say I got it. really funny.

__________________
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Young whippersnappers...

__________________

The 3 Laws of the Procrastination Society:
1) Never do today that which can be put off until tomorrow
2) Tomorrow never comes

i think there was one from 70s or 80s where the host asked a guy whats a common nickname for a wife and he answered : bitch!